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This post on grief and transition has been prompted by the passing of Queen Elizabeth II last week. If you, or someone you care about, have found yourself being deeply affected by last week’s events I hope the following will help. It’s important to remember there are a number of different issues which may be being triggered for you. It’s probably worth getting a cuppa as I cover quite a bit below. I’ll touch on grief, being empathic/sensitive, the importance/benefits of being grounded and mindful as well as dealing with change. I cover tools/techniques and essence suggestions that you may find helpful.
Dealing with grief
Grief is a complex emotion with many stages. Whilst it may seem obvious, it’s worth remembering that some of the feelings that may be coming up for you don’t have their roots in the present. Our past experiences of grief, loss and bereavement could well be being triggered. This is perfectly natural and happens, but it’s worth taking some time to consider whether those past losses were acknowledged and processed. If they weren’t you could use this as an opportunity to give them the attention they need. It’s also good to bear in mind that not all grief is caused by the death of a loved one. It can also be caused by the loss of a relationship, retirement, loss of your health or that of someone you love, moving from a family home, losing/leaving a job amongst many other potential causes.
Ways to support yourself when grieving
Experiencing grief can be emotionally and energetically draining. It’s important to make sure you’re doing what you can to support yourself during this time. Check-in with your self-care routine. Have any parts of it dropped off and need re-establishing? Are you giving yourself time and space to acknowledge and feel whatever thoughts and feelings you’re having? You may find journaling helpful to gain a greater understanding of what you’re feeling and why. Some questions to journal on may include: What am I feeling? Where can I feel it in my body? Where have these feelings come from? Have I felt these feelings before? If so when? How can I support myself at this time? If I were being kind to myself what would I do/not do at this time?
If you feel you could benefit from additional support to help you process any grief you’re experiencing you might consider using crystals or essences. Rose quartz, Amethyst or Smokey quartz would be excellent crystals to work with as they provide gentle support. They all help with grief. Rose quartz is also calming and supportive of the heart chakra. Amethyst has protective qualities, it also helps us deal with change and oversensitivity. Smokey quartz helps dissipate negativity and is good for grounding *Healing Bereavement is an essence that can help dissolve the vibrations of grief & loss, transform buried grief from the past, open the heart chakra and bring renewed hope for the future.
If you’re an empath or sensitive, you may be experiencing extra challenges
Because so many people are generating such strong emotions it’s a super-charged situation to navigate. It has the potential to be an incredibly energetically/emotionally draining time. Maintaining strong, healthy energetic and emotional boundaries is important. Being mindful (see below) will help you choose where to place your attention and focus. Being aware of which feelings are yours and what you’re picking up from others will allow you to gain greater clarity on your situation and how best to deal with what you’re feeling.
If you know you’re prone to being overly sensitive to other peoples thoughts and emotions the *Healthy Sensitivity set could be just what you need. This combination of supports can help strengthen your auric field so you don’t feel drained around others, helps you to feel protected and centred in your own energy, enhance the ability to separate yourself from other people’s thoughts and emotions and promotes healthy boundaries. It has other benefits too including bringing a deeper understanding of why you pick up on other people’s thoughts and emotions. Remember you don’t have to be physically close to someone to pick up on their energy and emotions.
The importance of being grounded
My Late Summer and the Earth Element article seems quite apt here too. Yes, it’s the time of year we’re in but it’s relation to transition and the importance of being grounded is very relevant. The article explains how to become more centred and grounded and there’s a grounding exercise you can use in it too.
Being grounded is important anyway but it becomes even more important when there’s a lot of change/transition happening around us. Being grounded helps us feel robust and stable, which makes everything else easier to process and deal with. The more grounded we feel the less influenced we are by what’s happening around us or indeed to us. We’re far less likely to get caught-up and lost in emotions or thoughts. We can manage our energy with greater ease and think more clearly. The*Earth Connection spray is fast acting and helps you to ground and connect with the Earth, stabilises your energetic foundations and reconnects you with the ‘here and now’. If you find getting and staying grounded challenging you might also find this blog post helpful *7 Signs You’re Ungrounded & the Best Essences for Grounding.
The power of mindfulness
The more mindful you are the easier it becomes to tell if you’re grounded and to do something about it if you’re not. It’s easier to notice what you’re thinking and feeling and process these thoughts and feelings in the most appropriate way for you at the time. Being mindful stops us getting lost in our thoughts and emotions. It helps to reduce our emotional reactivity and our stress levels. Mindfulness promotes self-insight and improves sleep. Not sure what mindfulness is or how to become more mindful? Read more here. Becoming more mindful takes time and practice. It’s a constant work in progress. You might want to consider the *Being Present essence if this is something you struggle with. It helps you stay focussed in the present, is good for those who easily ‘space out’, strengthens grounding and promotes greater everyday efficiency.
Transition and change
Even if you haven’t been emotionally upset by the passing of the Queen there will be changes over the coming days, weeks and months that may have an unsettling effect on you. Things that have been so common place for so long, such as the Queens image on bank notes and coins, postage stamps etc. A change in language having to say King instead of Queen, and pronouns, he instead of she, his/her. On a day to day basis these are minor but may feel disconcerting or ‘odd’ for a while. Be mindful you don’t let them trigger you back into how you’re feeling now.
As with all things over time we’ll adjust and it will become the ‘new normal’. Accepting things as they are, not as you’d like/prefer them to be is key. When we are being mindful we let go of judgement and simply observe whatever ‘is’ as it is. Of course it’s not just the change in monarch, bear on mind we’ve also got a number of economical and political changes taking place too.
All things change
All things change. The only state, after all, is one of impermanence. Dealing with change is something most people will say they don’t like and often aren’t very good at. I would encourage you to change your language and mind-set about change. If you repeatedly tell yourself that you ‘don’t like something’, or that you’re ‘not good at dealing with something’, you reinforce that belief. It doesn’t matter whether it’s true or not, that’s what you’re programming yourself to believe. Why not use your language to support yourself instead? ‘I go with the flow of life’, ‘I adapt to change with ease’ for example.
There’s no denying change can make us uncomfortable but it also helps us grow and develop. It’s one of the few things we can rely on, so why fight it? If it’s an area you feel you could use some additional support with, whilst working on changing you language and mind-set, *Walnut essence would be a good choice. Walnut promotes adaptability, emotional flexibility and protection during times of change.
I hope that’s some help.